Sitting up late into the night and talking to her, making her feel better, helping her solve her problems and difficulties. <3
So every little fuckin’ thing you do now is starting to piss me off…You’re turning into (if you aren’t already…) a crazy, psycho, insane lady. Lemme spell it all out for you….
1) You force me to come home from graduation early, because you’re “too tired and wanna go to bed?!?!?!?!” WTFUCK???? Just so you can get an extra hour of sleep? So now I don’t get to say goodbye to the dozens of senior friends I have, and probably won’t see them again for a rrrrreeeeeaaaaaallllyyyy long time. The last time I saw most of them, I said “See you later.” MEANING, I’d see them after graduation and THEN I could make peace with the fact that they’re gone, that I won’t see them very much anymore. But now, no. I get to sit here, stewing in it. Fuck.
2) You won’t let the best flute player at KW, the owner of a handmade flute that’s worth more than mine, the girl who made fuckin’ All State, the girl who you’ve said is really responsible, etc.etc. take care of my flute for the night? She’d bring it to me at school tomorrow. We’ve done this before! Makes no sense…as if she’s gonna be all “Sure. Imma throw his flute in front of a semi and laugh while it gets bent into a million fucking pieces! AHAHAHA” Yeah, no. She wouldn’t do that. I trust Rachel (and have in the past) with my flute, which probably happens to be the most valuable or second-most valuable thing I own…But you, on the other hand, I guess, think she would…so you’d rather the choir teacher and the sound engineer (who, might I say, I have nothing against, they’re great people, but don’t know the first thing about flutes…) hold it and take care of it for a while. Again, makes no fuckin sense.
3) You’re a fuckin’ Nazi about your computer…”It HAS to be plugged in 24/7, whenever you’re using it, otherwise I can’t do anything on it.” FIRST of all, if your computer is always plugged in, it significantly lowers the maximum charge on the battery and the battery life won’t last as long. And I’m pretty sure the 83% battery life is good enough to check your email on, read a few interesting news articles on the homepage, maybe look up a few things on Google, and maybe type up some lesson plans for the next day. That’ll drop you to….what?….77% maybe? Yeah, that’s too low. It’s gonna die if you don’t plug it in. Yeah fuckin right…
4) You complain about how I only tell you things last-minute? Most of the time, I myself don’t know until last-minute. What am I supposed to do? Tell you what I think might hypothetically, theoretically, possibly be happening in 3 weeks? Then, when that’s about to happen, and we actually come up with a plan, and I tell you that, you get even more pissed off…Not everything is carefully mapped out years in advance like the invasion of Poland, ok? I can’t fuckin’ win! >:(
So if you haven’t noticed, you’re really pissing me off. Which especially sucks, because the end of my school year has been amazing, thank you very much. But now, you have to go and almost ruin it. Fuckin’ thanks. I’m just trying to lead a normal teenage life. You know, the kind where you hang out with your friends, your girlfriend, do crazy things once in a while, make plans spontaneously, spend all your waking hours on the computer talking to people and looking at pointless crap on Facebook, staying up late, getting up late, doing nothing all day, etc. etc. Just because you went to Catholic high school (again, nothing against Catholics) doesn’t mean everyone in the world was raised the way you were raised, and not everyone in the world acts and operates the way you do. Get used to it! Geezus….So, thank you. You’ve pretty much fuckin’ ruined one of the best times of my ENTIRE. FUCKING. LIFE.
So tonight was great. Seeing her, holding her, kissing her again. And as a bonus, my mom’s ok with us :) This weekend has been great :D
I’m wishing you hadn’t told me that. I’m wishing we could still be the friends we were before. But now that you’ve told me that, I can’t ever think about you the same way. Some things should just be kept private. Like what you said…So I’m hoping we can go back to the way we were before. Friends who can always have a good time together. But somehow, I don’t think that will ever happen. You crossed a line, and I’m not sure you can step back again.